一个英国人从他住的旅店房间里走出来。来到走廊上，叫旅店的服务员给他拿一杯水来。服务员按他的要求做了。只不过是我的房间里起火了。更多英语笑话尽在应届毕业生笑话网。
小偷对自己做的.最坏打算--双语幽默笑话
A shoplifter(商店扒手) was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着，”小偷说，“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下，然后我们就当什么也没发生，你看怎样?”
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook(骗子，坏蛋) looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."
经理表示同意，然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道：“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点，你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"
杯水救火灾--双语幽默笑话
Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor(走廊) of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water. Every few minutes the Englishmen would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. Nothing, the Englishman answered imperturbably(平静地) , It’s simply that my room is on fire.
一天晚上，一个英国人从他住的旅店房间里走出来。来到走廊上，叫旅店的服务员给他拿一杯水来。服务员按他的要求做了。英国人回到了他的房间里，几分钟后他又来到走廊上，让服务员再给他送一杯水。服务员又给他送了一杯水。每隔几分钟。英国人就走出房间重复他的要求。 半小时之后.这位感到惊讶的服务员决定问问房客要这些水干什么，英国人不谎不忙地回答：没什么.只不过是我的房间里起火了。
为报纸上的竞赛竞选最佳答案--双语幽默笑话
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation(集会) for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
衣阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时，牧师答道：“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时，他答道：“当然不会。毕竟，我可能会是错的。”
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛，为下面的问题征集最佳答案：“如果卢浮宫起了火，而你只能救出一幅画，你将救出哪一幅?”
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
获奖的答案是：“最接近门口的那一幅。”