十万个冷笑话英文一：
On the way home one night, I spotted some fresh-cut roses outside a florist's shop. After selecting a dozen and entering the shop, I was greeted by a young saleswoman.
一天晚上回家的路上，我看到一家花店外面有一些刚剪下来的玫瑰。我挑了一打，走进店里，一个年轻的女售货员跟我打了个招呼。
"Are these for your wife, sir?" she asked.
“先生，这些是送给你妻子的吗?”她问道。
"Yes," I said.
“是的，”我说。
"For her birthday?" she asked.
“她的生日?”她问。
"No," I replied.
“不是，”我回答。
"For your anniversary?"
“你们的结婚纪念日?”
"No," I said again.
“不是，”我又答道。
As I pocketed my change and headed toward the door, the young woman called out, "I hope she forgives you."
当我将找回的钱装进口袋，朝门口走去时，那年轻的女人冲我喊道：“希望她能原谅你。”
Notes:
spot 认出，发现
fresh-cut 鲜切花
florist 种花人
saleswoman女售货员
十万个冷笑话英文二：
One evening I drove my husband's car to the shopping mall.
一天晚上我开着丈夫的`车去购物，
On my return, I noticed that how dusty the outside of his car was and cleaned it up a I finally entered the house, I called out."The woman who loves you the most in the world just cleaned your headlights and windshield."
回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。”
My husband looked up and said, "Mom's here?"
我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了?”
Notes:shopping mall 大型购物中心
headlight 前灯
windshield 挡风玻璃
十万个冷笑话英文三：
One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes.
一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。
Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.
两个人站在外面，看着大火。
“Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of money. People don't think of money when they're afraid. When anyone leaves paper money in a fire， the fire burns it. So I took all the bills that I could one will be poorer because I took them.”
“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。”
“You don't know my work，” said the other.
“你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。
“What is your work?”
“你是干什么的?”
“I'm a policeman.
“我是警察。”
“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work?”“No，”said the policeman.
“噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。
“I'm a writer. I'm always telling stories about things that never happened.”
“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”